Birdie birdie!

I must confess something. You know I love animals, right? (psst! I have a ferret… remember?) Right. But there are some exceptions… Uh… I’ll tell what these exceptions are, but promise me not to laugh at me. Promised? (Well, I suppose that is a “yes”).

Uh… those exceptions are any flying animal or living being: bats, bees, butterflies (yeah, butterflies… Can’t I be afraid of butterflies?? I hate them. Everybody says “oh, how beautiful!”……. It is a bug! For God’s sake! It has hair and a long tongue… and has wings, and it’s… a BUG! Ugh!), moths (disgusting!), almost all kind of insect (except for spiders, ants, flies or mosquitoes… I’m too used to them) and… BIRDS! — Yesss! B-I-R-D-S —BIRDS! I’m afraid of birds! Now I said it! I can’t explain why, because I don’t know the reason. Well, perhaps that’s not all true…

I was 3 and my little brother 1. My parents, my brother and I were at a park, walking. It was sunny. A beautiful day indeed. Suddenly, like a rocket, like a bullet, a pigeon threw itself from a tree straight to my brother’s head! (Remember Hitchcock’s movie “The Birds”? It was the same!!) This crazy bird was a killer! It started pecking all his little head!! And my one-year-old brother began to cry and cry and cry…! I remember this as it was yesterday!! I was so scared… Since that day, I’ve been afraid of pigeons… And lately I’ve started being afraid of parrots, parakeets and turtledoves too. :$ If only birds couldn’t fly… I wouldn’t be afraid of birds!

Well look, do you know what my brother’s favourite pets are?? Birds. Those stupid feathered animals which peep, poo and fly all day. Isn’t it ironic???? 😦 And he has at home 3 birds! Poor me! 😦 I hate them! One nymph, and two lovebirds (agapornis). The nymph and I had a confrontation some years ago, so we don’t talk to each other (yeah, no talk. No communication. Nothing. Just mutual hate) and the lovebirds have a chirp so high-pitched, that one day I’ll (and all my family) go deaf! I can’t believe my brother’s favourite animals are birds! It’s illogical! And here I am, with my ornithophobia, surrounded by three killer birds (and my brother warned me this summer there will be a fourth!! :S) (yeah I said “killer”. I’m convinced they can kill someone with their so high-pitched chirp!! It’s painful!).

This is fraternal love!

(PS: Thanks Hitchcock for inspiring birds to attack people!)


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